Friday, November 30, 2007

Tsk, tsk, tsk

The “Stella Awards” are named after the 81-year-old woman, Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and success-fully sued McDonald’s in New Mexico for 2.9 million dollars. Ever since, the name “Stella Award” has been applied to any wild, outrageous, or ridiculous lawsuits - including bogus cases! Here are this year’s winners…

7th Place - Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas , was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle when she tripped over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

6th Place - Nineteen-year- old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.

5th Place - Terrence Dickson of Bristol , Pennsylvania , was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the home owners’ insurance company, claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion, this is SO outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place .

4th Place - Jerry Williams of Little Rock , Arkansas , was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owners’ fenced yard. The award was less than originally sought, because the jury felt that the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place - A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania , $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tail bone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place - Kara Walton of Claymont , Delaware , successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies’ room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place (drum roll, please) - This year’s runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma . Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand-new, 32-foot-long Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football
game - having driven onto the freeway - she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually do that. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed its manuals on the basis of this law suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

You have to hand it to the lawyers. Creative presentation at its finest! No wonder this country is so screwed up!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

May you always have much, for which to be thankful,
Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Can't wait for a new week to begin

because the past week has sucked! With Christopher healing from his surgery, I am at the stove making soup. Oops, it boils up and splashes me. hmmmmm???, how can it not burn? It is cold. Go back to stir some more, same thing. After a few times, (yeah, duh, took a few times) I realize it is drops from above my head.... Shit! It is coming from my kitchen ceiling.... The roof has sprung a leak *sigh* Time to get a new roof.

Time for bed, go downstairs and step into a cold puddle... wtf??? It didn't rain enough to flood, did it?? Nope. The hot water heater gave out. Time to get a new water heater heater, butttttttttttttttttttttttt of course it isn't going to be so easy cause the idiots that put the old one in, did not leave room enough to replace it! Yeah, like they last forever. Now it it is a new water heater and 2 walls.

Okay, not bad enough but wouldn't you know the coldest night of the season yet, no heat! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Nope, don't need a new furnace but a damn oil tank... not so bad??? hahaha my luck, remember??? It is underground and sprung a leak. So now it needs to be replaced above ground and the soil is contaminated..... *BIG SIGH*

If tomorrow does not start off better, I am going back to bed for the rest of the year.....

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Natural Highs

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially #45.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach .
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Anything you want it to be....
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40 Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. 41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.