Monday, December 31, 2007

Twas the month after Christmas

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Happy Holidays

One of the greatest gifts I ever received
Didn't come wrapped with a bow;
But its value was more precious
Than the giver could ever know.

It was a kind word, a smile
And a gentle, listening ear.
It was their acceptance
And the time that I held so dear.

When you feel like you are all alone
In an empty room you can't escape.
Understanding is far more valuable
Than anything wrapped in paper and tape.

What I received instead was an emotional connection,
A lifeline from the heart.
Someone who really understood me
Right from the very start.

Another parent, walking the same path
Willing to share some time with me.
A present so rare and special-
Its energy has stayed with me.

We go through life striving
To make it from place to place
Without really treasuring
The beauty of a smiling face

The release of stress through a conversation
The gift of a shared smile,
Or maybe a late night email
That reaches over many a mile.

That link with someone
Who "gets it" is the ultimate goal.
Someone offering support and a connection
is so very good for a tired soul.

One of the greatest gifts I ever received
Still is a part of me-
It lives on inside of my heart.
Forever cherished it will be.

For unless you walk the same journey
You can not truly understand
The powerful feeling of seeing
An outstretched hand.

The wonderful feeling of realizing
You aren't the only one, all alone.
You can reach out to another
By simply picking up the phone.

Offering encouragement within
The magic connection of that bond
Remains the reason
Why I am so fond

Of someone willing to reach out
To another along the way
Always remember you can never imagine
The power of what you say.

So one of the very best gifts I ever received
Doesn't sit on a shelf for all to see.
It was support from another parent-
Making the same journey as me.

Happy Holidays!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Holiday Tips

Happy Holidays from the Dietitians.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffettable knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you seecarrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rumballs.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like finesingle-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer thansingle-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now.So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It'snot as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something.It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later thanyou think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point ofgravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out ofyour mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milkor whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying asports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort tocontrol your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party isto eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and NewYear's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling thebuffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat ofeggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, likefrosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, positionyourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can beforebecoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair ofshoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Orif you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Alwayshave three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? LaborDay?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with themandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave theparty or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.